“Can’t you find a nice tarecaker?”

– We were discussing who would look after our pet goat and donkey when we travelled. If we had a pet goat and donkey.

“Maybe we have to make you a filler bridge.”

– It fills in the hole and bridges the gap. Where your tooth used to be. Duh.

“He should be a character in a milm or foovie.”

– Casting call: teenaged Hasidic Jew, male, riding electric one wheel skateboard, with dapper Fedora, wispy shylocks and that shirt thing with the dangly tassels.

“America right now is like you have the cramps and you just want to shit it all out.”

– Trump #loser