“She grew up on a boat so she had lots of interesting stories to shell.”

– Regarding the funny and fabulous Hannah Pembroke’s performance at LMA’s NIGHT SHIFT improv comedy show.

“I feel like watching something. Or maybe reading. Nah, watching cartoons. Watching cartoons is definitely good for you.”

– Saturday morning with Amy

“Maybe we have to make you a filler bridge.”

– It fills in the hole and bridges the gap. Where your tooth used to be. Duh.

“He should be a character in a milm or foovie.”

– Casting call: teenaged Hasidic Jew, male, riding electric one wheel skateboard, with dapper Fedora, wispy shylocks and that shirt thing with the dangly tassels.

“America right now is like you have the cramps and you just want to shit it all out.”

– Trump #loser

“He does it on purpose. So he can be the beef of the street.”

– Why our cat eats so much and gets fat.