“It’s horizontal-tom.”

– I’m not Tom, but it is bedtime.

Note: There is some disagreement on the veracity of this post, as SHE says she said “Time,” but when I asked her if she just said “Tom,” she said “Yes.” Who is right?

“It’s definitely gin and clock o’tonic”

– She doesn’t even have to be drunk.

“It’s time lights out switches switching”

– Definitely past her bedtime.

“She’s like a head in deer lights.”

– Get out of the road dumb ass.

“This might be worse than when Chumpsfeld was President”

– You know, Cheney + Rumsfeld. Chumpsfeld.

“I think all the brain went to my belly.”

– This is what I get for asking her a “tough” question after she’d just finished a steak.