“Look at the birds roasting in that tree.”

– I considered setting the tree on fire just to make her make sense, but apparently Cockatoos are not delicious.

“Wherever it gets cold, people get interesting.”

– Because in warm places people just go outside to play in the sun and don’t use their brains.

“Who wants to use the baby forks? Not me. I’m not a baby.”

– When you haven’t done dishes in a while and all the big forks are dirty.